The night before Christmas revised
by Dancingdog
Summary: A silly story I wrote for a friend who wanted a fic between Prowl and Blurr. FLUFF ALERT!


Prowl X Blurr Jeff Dunham act XMAS SPECIAL!

Sorry if Blurr is a little OOC, I've not watched TFA for a while, not to mention that I wanted to use the Jeff Dunham Christmas Special (link: watch?v=ifK-k8Ii8Xw) ... Any who, sorry this took so long HeatherKF, I've had a lot of stuff to do ^^;

"Hey guys! I've found that book I was looking for!" Sari announced eagerly.

The seven Autobots were currently relaxing in the safety of their 'base', just enjoying the peace and happiness of one of Earth's most sacred holidays - Christmas. Even the Decepticons seemed to have quietened down for the festive Season, either that or they were planning some huge evil scheme to destroy Earth, it's resources and it's inhabitants. Again. But right now, all the Autobots wanted to think about, was spending some quality time with friends... and apparently read a book.

Bulkhead peered over the top of the canvas he was working on, to cast a curious look at the 16 year-old girl. "Is that the 'Night after Christmas' thing you were talking about?"

"First off, it's night _before _Christmas, and yes, yes it is." Sari replied. "I think you guys are gonna like this story; it's an old Earth tradition, to read it at Christmas."

Jazz gently picked up the book from its former position resting in Sari's arms to quickly scan the front cover. "Ah. So this is th' guy who drives th' flyin' car?" He said whilst pointing to a picture of Santa on the cover. "Sleigh, Jazz. Sleigh." Sari corrected. "And it's the reindeer that fly, not the sleigh."

"Somehow, I find that highly unbelievable." Ratchet muttered sarcastically.

"I'm afraid I have to agree with Ratchet, Sari. How could it be possible for mammals without the wide light-boned structure possessed by most flying organisms, to actually fly?" Optimus said, perplexed.

"Ninja-bot calls them wings." Bumblebee supplied. "Not that I care..."

At this precise moment, Prowl stalked in from the pit of no return (as Bumblebee called it a.k.a Prowl's quarters) to see what the fuss was about.

"Prowl! Sariwasjusttellingusaboutano ldEarthtradition!" Blurr commented. "Yeah! I was going to ask one of you guys if you wanted to read it." Sari said. "I'm sure Prowl will read it to us, he'll love learning about flying deer." Scoffed Ratchet. "Flying d...?" Prowl started.

"That's a good idea. Go on then Prowl." Optimus smiled. "Everyone's waiting."

Jazz handed the clueless ninja the book with a choked laugh, which Prowl took only to stare at it in complete and utter bewilderment for a moment, before sitting on the couch and letting the others gather round him to listen to the ancient tale. "Willthisbeaslowstory?" Blurr asked. "'cozIhateslow,boringstuff." "Blurr. It's an OLD EARTH TALE. Of course it's gonna be slow. Just chill...for once." Bumblebee pointed out. Blurr groaned at this, he had to liven things up a little...

Prowl cleared the static from his throat cables and began. "Twas the night before Christmas-" "Holdit." The group turned in surprise to look at Blurr. "Who says 'twas'?" "I...it...it's in the story. It's tradition." Prowl stuttered, at the sudden slow in Blurr's speech. "Tis it?" Blurr replied cheekily, to which Sari giggled.

Prowl started again. "Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house-" "Why's it always got to be a house? There are kids in apartments. How does Santa get to those poor kids huh, uncle Prowly?" Blurr asked whilst leaning on the ninja's shoulder forming a puppy-dog look. When Prowl raised an optic ridge, Blurr sat up and finished with; "They have to buzz his butt in: 'Bzzz Bzzz Santa Claus'." Blurr mimicked.

Prowl licked his lips in embarrassment and tried to continue. "And all through the apartments not a creature was staring-" "Except for the idiots in 2B." Blurr cut in. "They were drunk and hitting each other with manures." Bumblebee snickered at the comment. Prowl groaned discretely and once again, continued. "Not a creature was staring, not even a mouse-" "Mouse? Hah! You wish! You're living in an apartment, that's a rat!" said Blurr. Prowl gave Blurr a tedious glance.

"The stockings were hung by the chimney with care-" "And believe me the rooms could use some fresh air." Blurr finished. "Seriously how the heck did that tradition start? Hanging up dirty washing in hopes that goodies will be put in there? Yeuck! I'd like to suck on this candy cane but it smells like dad's feet! Good thing the tradition wasn't in jock straps. 'Hey Sally, what's in yours? Nuts~.'" Bumblebee burst out laughing at the sweet high-pitched voice Blurr had used, as did Sari and even Ratchet and Optimus struggled to stifle a chuckle. Prowl flushed red and refused to read any more of the story. However to his dismay, Sari and the other Autobots insisted that he kept on reading, so being outnumbered, he did. "With mother in her 'kerchief and I in my cap, had just settled down-" "For a big snort of crack." Prowl glared a Blurr whilst another howl of laughter erupted from the others.

"As I drew in my head and was turning around, down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound-" "He fell down?" Blurr asked. "Yes." Replied Prowl. "Doesn't it say his face was all red?" Blurr asked, whilst scanning the next few lines of the book, to which Sari nodded her head. Blurr nodded his head in understanding. "Is it only me who can see this; he is drunk off his head! This is a horrible, horrible story!"

Prowl slammed his head into his servos, after which he groaned a tired sigh. "May I...?" He asked whilst gesturing to the book. Blurr smiled innocently at him. "Of course Prowler." "He was dressed all in fur from his head to his foot, and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot-" "Fat. Drinking and driving. In a furry weird outfit. Covered in soot: he's smoking and these humans let him in the house because he says he has _something for their kids_. Not to mention that these people keep giving him milk and cookies. What if they purposely gave him insulin? Pffft. I can't wait to hear next year's story; The night before Christmas Part 2: Santa's on dialysis and he's missing a leg." At this point, Sari actually fell off the couch in hysterics.

Prowl growled in frustration. "Can I finish this story?!" "Oh pwease do." Blurr said like a child, whilst leaning once again on Prowl's shoulder.

"He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle-" "Gotta go quick 'coz there's a cop with a pistol."

Prowl sighed in defeat and closed the book, after which he walked to the entrance of the base. "No wait! I'm sorry Prowl. I didn't mean to annoy you. I was just having a little fun as all." Blurr pleaded. "Yeah! C'mon Prowl! Finish the story." The others chorused. Prowl trudged back over to where the book lay to read the last couple of lines. (Give him a break, he's never read this story before- he can't remember the last couple of lines.) "But I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight-" "This ninja's mine, so go take a hike!" Blurr announced as he pounced on Prowl to kiss him, to which Prowl gladly mirrored as he wrapped his arms around Blurr's waist.

As Ratchet gagged, Sari, Bumblebee and Bulkhead fled the room as quickly as possible with Optimus awkwardly stating that he had to go and finish some reports.


End file.
